


All the times when Tony felt.

by FanStarkAvengers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Depression, F/M, Hurt Tony Stark, Implied/Referenced Abortion, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, References to Depression, References to Drugs, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:54:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25125010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanStarkAvengers/pseuds/FanStarkAvengers
Summary: Tony realizes that his life has been a disaster but his life have good people around.
Relationships: Betty Ross & Tony Stark, Betty Ross/Tony Stark, Bruce Banner/Betty Ross, Bruce Banner/Betty Ross/Tony Stark, Bruce Banner/Tony Stark
Kudos: 3





	All the times when Tony felt.

At five, Tony felt something strange in his heart. Mom gave him a kiss after Tony gave him a letter for his birthday. It had a red heart painted on it and said how much he loved her.

At six, Tony's heart started to hurt. Bruce, his school friend, was crying in the bathroom during lunchtime because his father didn't care about him. Tony made sure to share all his lunches with him.

At nine, Tony's heart felt pressed into his chest when he received the news. Bruce had to move to another city, his father had gotten into troubles with science and they have to flee.

At twelve Tony felt every beat of his heart, for some reason his brain never worked it into this stage. He met his first love inside the institute for geniuses he attended, he had found out she was the daughter of his father's enemy or something like that. He didn't care, he could hear Betty's laughter miles away from him, tell the difference between her red ribbon and a million other identical ribbons, and watch her all day long from his seat.

At thirteen, Tony met Bruce again. Now his heart and brain were pure electricity. He was fascinated when he spoke to him again, he told himself he would never let them be separated again.

At fifteen Tony had his first time. He remembers how embarrassingly was it, surpassed any embarrassing remember he could had, it was all so fast, it will never fade from his mind, his partner's face was totally red when the two of them were naked and Tony was pushing inside her. Betty thanked him for the patience he had with her that day as she was getting dressed again, she left the room promising Tony that he would never see her again in his life.

At sixteen Tony confessed to Bruce that he was no a virgin, by this stage he no even worried for his heart and just letting himself be guided by his lower body. He encouraged his friend to lose his virginity too, but Bruce was a lone wolf and that didn't happen.

At seventeen Bruce and Tony had to separate again, this time the chestnut tree could not do anything about it. His parents had just died and he was preparing to take his father's place. His heart was beginning to break.

At eighteen Tony's life became a real disaster, without his parents and with a lot of money in his hands, the only Stark will slowly destroy his own life. With uncontrollable parties at night the day seemed to be a bit quiet. He tried it for the first time and became addicted to dopamine, always analyzing how this happened, without the horrible need to have a person by his side, the magic powder was his favorite thing in the world now. He didn't need anything else, his heart was pounding. But he wasn't alone. Somewhere else Bruce's heart was beating for Betty as she has hug him so tightly that it seemed never to let go.

At nineteen Tony walked away from the magic dust, began to believe that his heart was fading, it was difficult, Jarvis and Aunt Peggy helped him, it felt like he was getting out of prison.

At twenty Tony found new ways to have fun, his heart seemed to jump out of his chest when he saw beautiful women, Tony was a handsome young man, women never had a problem making him feel good. Tony thought he had fallen in love with every one of them even though he couldn't even remember the name of one.

At twenty-one, Jarvis died, making decisions was more complicated, Jarvis was good at taking care of dumb kids, Tony thought he was big. Stark Industries almost disappears completely.

At twenty-five, Tony was great at everything. Among the most powerful men on earth Tony was beginning to believe he was invincible.

By the time he was thirty , his heart was directly wounded. He kidnapped was the least of it, Tony felt his heart was stained and miserable. Yet he loved it and that circle shining on his chest.

At thirty-two, he was looking for little Bruce. Well. Dr. Banner, the Hulk. Superheroes, gods, abominable and respectable beasts were emerging. For the first time Tony felt as if this was not real, he was never taught to care about other people and this superhero thing had changed his way of seeing things. He was no longer just a powerful man, people worshipped the man in the suit.

At thirty-three, the Avengers saved the earth from beasts who coming another world, everyone was talking about that feat, about how his friends fought, apparently these people forgot what he did for them too, he decided to leave the comments aside, the only thing that mattered to Tony now was Bruce was back.

At thirty-four, when everything seems to be going perfectly, Betty appeared again in her life. But she didn't come back for him, she came back for Bruce. This was all so unexpected for him, but he couldn't get angry, after all he loved seeing Bruce happy. He had Pepper and was almost sure he loved her.

It was all so stupid and primitive for Tony, Betty was Betty, it was that simple. She captivated him as quickly as the first time and he couldn't help but have feelings for her after all she meant in his life. Betty and Bruce never realized how much in love Tony was.

At thirty-seven, after many disasters, Pepper told him they needed a break. Just as he was claiming to love her and preparing to propose to her. He felt a void in his chest. All his efforts were in vain. Those first months he locked himself in his workshop trying to forget Betty, when several times he ignored going out with his two friends for dinner because he was staying with Pepper. When he destroyed her precious creations trying to make her feel safe. When her heart seemed not to depend on her reactor, when her heart now depended on a caress, a kiss or the simple fact of being close to her. He was destroyed and made sure that no one would notice.

At thirty-nine, after Ultron, Bruce was lost again. And Tony was more than broken after the news, he definitely lost Bruce. His heart seemed to go out again. He was looking for the magic powder to revive his heart, but he saw her in the lab. She was hugging one of Bruce's lab coats. Clinging to it as she cried in silence. He approached his part of the lab trying to avoid her, at his desk he opened one of the drawers by taking out the clear bag. Not wanting this to be uncomfortable, he grabbed his bag and started to head for his room, but long before he could leave the lab Betty stopped him. She asked him to stay with her and throw that bag in the trash, as if that wasn't enough, she practically ran into Tony's arms, it was the most comforting hug she could get after Bruce disappeared. She told him how many things Bruce hated and among those, there was that bag that Tony always kept in the lab, he said it only destroyed his friend. She told him how much Bruce felt about him, when hearts almost seemed to come out of Bruce's eyes when he talked about Tony. How many times did Betty feel jealous of Tony because he seemed to take her Bruce away from her. If anything, Betty loved Bruce as much as he did.

At forty-one, after having a relationship with her on the sly, they had to break up. Betty lost her son, she felt depressed enough to even look at Tony. He cried at night too, Betty wasn't the only one.

At forty-four, he and Pepper decided to try again, Tony could tell he was happy now, his little boy is now everything to him.

At forty-six, Bruce returned with Thor. Tony was so happy.

At forty-eight, his home was attacked again, taking the life of his little boy with him and leaving Pepper in a very serious condition. They tried, really. Pepper was crying at night and Tony don't know how to comfort her, not even a little. The best thing was to split up.

At forty-nine, Tony witnessed the great love that Bruce and Betty had for each other, given to Betty at the altar, because Betty's father never accepted the couple Betty chose.

At fifty, Tony's brain and heart completely shut down. His life was a misfortune. Anthony Edward Stark realized he never wanted to feel anything again in his life. As blood trickled down his cheek and the pain was sharp on his forehead, Tony felt relief for the first time. But even trying to avoid feeling anything, Tony realized that was impossible, everything was so electric and so fast before his eyelids would close. By the time he wanted to rectify his mistake it was too late, he was static.

Dying gracefully was the greatest wish Tony could have fulfilled.

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old job and I'm dedicating it to an important friend of mine. This job was inspired Bye Bye Darling by Børns. English is not my native language by the way and I just want to say that I try hard to translate this for you.


End file.
